Can you control falling in love

Spend time with your family and friends. Everyone needs to socialize with and feel supported by others, whether single or in a relationship. Do fun activities with family members and close friends that you enjoy spending time with so that you feel connected to others without being in a relationship.

Spend time in nature. It can be very peaceful to breathe in fresh air and take in beautiful natural surroundings such as trees, flowers, mountains, and the ocean.

At least once a week, take a walk in the woods by yourself or read a book on the beach in order to fulfil your heart and soul and bring yourself to a present state of peace. Tap into your creativity. It can feel very empowering to be in touch with your ideas and intelligence.

Find an activity you love that involves healthy, safe touching. Touching releases oxytocin and serotonin, which help you feel love and pleasure. Try out a few different activities that involve touch, such as massage therapy, partner dancing, or spending time with animals, and stick with whatever activity makes you feel love and joy. Volunteer for a cause you care about. Volunteer work is a great way to feel fulfilled.

It can also help you to stay focused on something bigger than yourself. Try volunteering at your local animal shelter, soup kitchen, or charity thrift store. Look into organizations in your area that frequently need volunteers as well, such as Hospice or a local nursing home. Method 2. Minimize contact with your crush. If you find yourself getting too attached to someone, the best way to avoid falling for them is by distancing yourself from them.

Get off of social media. Doing this will make it harder to get your mind off of your crush and may only make you like them more. Reflect back on bad past relationships. Stay busy. Consider helping your parents with cleaning around the house or taking up a new hobby. Method 3. Let go of past pain and resentment.

Even when the right person comes along, it can be hard to allow yourself to fall in love because of your past experiences. While love is great in many ways, it can sometimes lead to pain, which can make the idea of a new relationship scary.

Try keeping a journal to record your thoughts about this and work towards a healthier mindset. Try to be more vulnerable.

When the time is right, try to let yourself feel happy and excited to talk to and spend time with the special someone in your life. Try telling this person one private thing about yourself a week at first in order to strengthen the bond. Over time, slowly work your way towards feeling love and being fully open and honest with the person.

Despite our quest for love, we're scared of it and often try to control our feelings in an effort to minimize the chances of a broken heart. There are a list of "rules" people use to control love and dating. Here are a few:. The Timing Must Be Right.

I used to think I had to be with someone for a certain amount of time — usually six months — before I could agree to a relationship. This may have stunted something that could have been meaningful. It's not possible to control your feelings when it comes to love. There shouldn't be a time limit or required amount of time. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen whether you like it or not. Maintaining Mobility. Men equate marriage with the end of personal growth.

In other words, remaining single will give you more ability to move to a new town , or test out different careers, and develop as a person. This may be true, but in a healthy marriage, both individuals are able to grow while remaining a team.

When someone says, "I keep falling in and out of love with you," what does it mean? Is this someone you can depend on? You might be curious about what happens to us when we fall in love.

What leads us to the powerful feeling that one person we're falling in love with is our soulmate? Much of the answer to this lies in biology and brain chemistry. The intense passion that makes you feel like you can't get enough of someone is hardwired into our brains to help us choose a mate.

In other words, it's simply a biological instinct to ensure the survival of the species. Source: rawpixel. We tend to develop a strong attraction for someone based on any desirable characteristics they might possess and the quality of our interactions with them. We often know very little about the other person at first; they remain somewhat mysterious, and we tend to project our own needs and wants onto them.

In the early stages of falling in love, the feelings of love have an addictive quality. Physical Attraction: You look at someone from across a room, catch their eye, and immediately feel a strong sense of attraction.

Either way, a touch, glance, or smile sends those feel-good chemicals surging through your brain, and you feel irresistibly compelled to go out of your way to spend more time with them. Getting to Know Each Other: Through social interactions and shared activities, you begin to get to know this person. Romantic Idealism and Obsession: In this phase of falling in love, you think about the person constantly. However, because it's still early in the relationship, many of your perceptions of them are based on your first perceptions, not reality.

Trust and Attachment: Gradually, as you settle into a more established relationship, the addictive brain activity will fade into something more sustainable. Instead of feeling crazy, love now makes you feel calm and fulfilled. Falling in love sounds wonderful, so why doesn't that warm, settled phase of trust and attachment last? As it turns out, there are several reasons why it's easy to fall out of love. We mistake the addictive qualities of attraction and obsession for lasting love.

The image of romantic love that we get from popular songs and movies leads us to think that love is nothing more than the crazy cocktail of emotions that takes place in the early stage of attraction.

Unfortunately, after falling in love, it's impossible to sustain these intense feelings over a long period of time. Too often, we think that, when our obsession has faded, this means our love has faded, too. Excessive dependence on your partner as your sole source of fulfillment turns falling in love into an obsession. In a healthy relationship, two partners enjoy being together, but they also have their own friends and hobbies.

Sometimes couples may become isolated from other interests and focus solely on each other. If this happens, you or your partner may succumb to unhealthy fears about losing the other person. Partners are unable or unwilling to communicate needs and feelings. In that heady rush of early love, you and your partner feel perfectly attuned to each other.

Your energies seem magically in sync, and there's very little need for difficult communication. As the relationship progresses, however, each partner becomes burdened with the cares of daily life.